Huh? Or Criticality is Dead, Long Live Criticality

Iíd be happy to take credit [for the current war plan] but itís not mine.

Donald Rumsfeld

As Chief Critical Inspector of the Department of Art and Technology, it is time for me to intervene. Rummy made me do itóor at least his craven retreat today from his own Departmentís ownership of the war operation did. (Could this have been an April Foolís Dayprank?) The buck never seems to end on Rummyís desk; his latest howler-of-a-turf grab was to announce the other day that the Pentagon, rather than the State Department, ought to be disbursing aid in Iraq. Ensuring, of course, no possibility of cooperation from expert NGOs and international aid organizations. But, hey, if the Defense Department canít manage the war, it should be able to not manage the vitally important aid operation.

Now one never expects competence from the folks in Shrubville, but these guys canít take any criticism either. (Much less a joke.) Yes, there is such a thing as constructive criticism; ask any art student. (Whereís Lynne Cheney when we need an official perspective on poststructuralism, anyway?) Clearly the humorless bozos and bozettes that ìpeopleî this administration believe that winning is everything. If its economic, environmental, diplomatic, and military record constitute winning, you can beam me up Condy. And come to think of it, what Iím calling criticism is really just learning, Mr. Education President. Or, put another way, you can lead a horse(ës ass) to waterÖ

Robert Atkins
Chief Critical Inspector
US Department of Art & Technology